bored..

Qin:

I dunno what went wrong with my life..........................

I'm tired.... I'm bored.... I'm lost....

There seemed to be something missing.. Im feeling kinda insecure lately.. I do admit that i'm a freaking insecure girl.. I'll get suspicious, sensitive and upset over minor problems.. But the cause of all these is Mr. Pang, this is the only thing i know.. haa..

Why does he or his actions mean so much to me? Why cant i hack care everything abt him and lead my life happily?

I can see and feel the change in him.. Trying his best to please me when i'm unhappy with him even though i gave him a "black face" attitude fr the whole day.. I know a r/s need both party to give and take etc in order to work out but i juz cant help having worries.. It suddenly seems to me that its a torture fr him to be with me.. Is that true..?? I'm nt a selfish girl.. I dun wanna be a burden to him.. I dun wanna stress him.. I wan him to lead his life happily too.. =)

He's out having fun at momo with his bros.. and here i am rotting at home.. Actually he did mention that he'll bring his sis and me there tonight but.... ended up with his grp of bros.. Alrite, i'm nt a unreasonable gf k? I know thats the only day he can be happy, enjoy, have fun, spend time with his frds so i never forbid him to go or make a big fuss..

I'm juz upset over some issues.....

(1) His actions fr the past one week or so.. Perhaps its like wat he said, im over suspicious and sensitive? I really do hope i am..

(2) The way he spend his $$$$$$$.... Guess what my dear boy did today? He bought a new hp.. Listen!! A PDA PHONE.. O2 XDA ATOM PURE (LIMITED EDITION).. Forgotten the exact price but all i can remember was that its more than $1.3k.. My goodness!! Heart pain... I tried to "brain wash" him but failed.. To him, if he likes an item and its within his budget, he'll go all way fr it.. But.... As fr me, i'll only pamper myself once in a blue moon, only things that i really need.. thats why i feel that its a waste of $$$ to buy that phone!! Its nt as though he have got no hp.. haiz!!

Promised me that he wont change his phone after that stupid V3 and here he is.. broke his promise once again!! Today, Mr. Pang make another promise.. HE PROMISED THAT HE WONT BE CHANGING HIS CURRENT PHONE, WILL BE USING IT FR 2YRS.. haa!! What a joke.. Lets wait and see.....

When can he really start to learn and save up?? At the age of 28 or 30..?? OMG.. Mr. Pang, I know its nt my money.. I have no rights to interfere but i really do hope and beg u to save up can..?? I'm begging u......